You're a Mean One, Mr Stark
by xxDustNight88
Summary: All Hermione wanted was to plan a lovely getaway for her and her two husbands. When it turns out their trip will be cut short, tensions run high and wishes are revealed.


**Author's Note:** Happy holiday, everyone! This story was written for Hermione's Holiday Hideaway 2018. I was prompted Amsterdam and Bah! Humbug. I hope you enjoy this little piece and make sure to read the other stories in this year's collection!

Thank you to thescarletphoenixx and GaeilgeRua for beta/alpha reading. Any other mistakes you find are definitely my own. Much love, xxDustNight

 **Disclaimer:** All non-original characters, plot points, and information belongs to those at Marvel Studios, Warner Brothers, or J.K. Rowling. The story plot and dialogue belongs to me. I do not write for profit.

 _ **You're a Mean One, Mr. Stark  
**_ **Pairing:** Steve Rogers/Tony Stark/Hermione Granger _ **  
**_ **Rating: T**  
 **Summary:** _All Hermione wanted was to plan a lovely getaway for her and her two husbands. When it turns out their trip will be cut short, tensions run high and wishes are revealed.  
_ **Prompt:** Amsterdam/Bah! Humbug

. . . .

 _You're a Mean One, Mr. Stark_

. . . .

Christmas time was always a very delicate time for Tony. It was often spent by him brooding, moping, arguing, and just being downright grumpy. That was why, this year, Hermione had proposed that the three of them take a short holiday. She adored her husbands dearly, but when one of them was in a funk, it brought down the other… Then, they took it out on her. Surely, a trip would put Tony's mind and heart at ease this year.

That's how they came to be in Amsterdam for Christmas. It was absolutely beautiful, and Hermione couldn't wait to see the sights with the two loves of her life. Already, she could tell that Steve was feeling more uplifted. If only Tony would get on board. She'd planned out their entire trip, making sure to account for any downtime where Tony could get caught up in his thoughts of Christmases long past.

They were sitting in a cafe enjoying breakfast when she noticed that Tony's mood had shifted for the worse. Setting aside her cup of coffee, she asked, "What's wrong, Tony? You haven't touched your breakfast."

"I got a text from Pepper. Apparently, she wanted me to attend some insipid meeting today," he muttered, rolling his eyes and tucking his cell phone back into the pocket of his hoodie. "She's rescheduling it for tomorrow."

"I thought you cleared his schedule?" Steve quietly asked, leaning closer to her but keeping his eyes trained on Tony. "Tomorrow is Christmas."

"I did," Hermione muttered, frowning in confusion. She grabbed her own mobile out of her purse and quickly checked her email. Sure enough, there was a slew of unread messages about an important meeting Pepper scheduled. Hermione worked for Stark Industries too, but she wasn't required to attend certain board meetings as Tony often was. "Looks like this was planned late last night."

"Might as well call the airport and get the jet fueled up. Guess we'll be working on Christmas this year," he mumbled, grabbing his coffee and taking a gulp. He cringed as the scalding liquid hit the back of his throat, but made no noise of distress.

Shaking her head, Hermione quickly said, "Absolutely not, Tony. I explicitly told Pepper we had no plans of working this holiday." She looked to Tony with sad eyes and reached out to grab hold of his hand. "You have to believe me."

"You are a bit of a workaholic sometimes," Steve pointed out. It earned him a pointed glare from his wife, but he simply smiled and went back to his breakfast. Sometimes it was better to let her and Tony settle things on their own.

"Not on Christmas," she snapped, beginning to type out an email to Pepper, essentially asking what the hell was going on. "And besides," she continued, lifting her eyes for a second to stare at Tony. "I worked really hard to plan this trip for the three of us. I don't want it ending early. We've barely begun to see the city."

"Pepper is going to be pissed either way," Tony said, pushing his chair back and standing. He threw down some money onto the table and gestured to the door. "Come on. Let's head out. Maybe we can get a few items checked off that extensive list of yours before we have to fly back to New York."

Without waiting for her to reply, Tony headed for the door. Hermione sat there in shock. This isn't what she had planned at all. Turning to Steve, she said, "He's really upset right now, isn't he?"

"He's not yelling at you yet, so that's a good sign," Steve pointed out, scratching at the back of his head. Standing from the table, he held out his hand for Hermione. As he pulled her to stand, he said, "Let's do what we can while we wait to hear back from Pepper."

Hermione simply nodded and shrugged into her jacket. "I feel horrible. I don't know why Pepper didn't keep her promise."

"Maybe she didn't have a choice," Steve tried to reason. "Either way, we'll do what we can to make this trip enjoyable. Even if we have to leave, you had the best intentions in mind."

Hermione simply pursed her lips and nodded. Steve had a point, but that didn't make her feel any better. As they left the cafe and ventured out to take in the sights, Hermione tried to formulate a plan to get Tony off the hook with Pepper. It was Christmas Eve, and Hermione fully intended to spend the holiday with both of her husbands. It just wouldn't sit right if Tony had to go into work and she and Steve were stuck celebrating alone.

. . . .

The afternoon didn't go entirely as planned. Because they were trying to do as many items on Hermione's list as possible, they found that the lines were rather long at some of the attractions or others had already closed for the holiday. By the time they returned to their hotel room, Tony was in a horribly foul mood, and Steve had retreated into himself as he always did when Tony was upset. Hermione had no idea what she could do to make things better, especially since Pepper had yet to return her email. As it sat now, they were going to have to fly back to the States at midnight.

Currently, Hermione was standing by the window of their fancy suite, watching the snow fall outside and hating that her heart ached with disappointment. Tony had settled into the chair by the gas-log fireplace and was cleaning and fine-tuning one of his gauntlets. They'd picked up a few food items, and now Steve was making them sandwiches and a salad. It would be a rather uneventful way to spend their unfortunate last night in Amsterdam, but they would make due, nevertheless. Turning away from the window, Hermione sighed.

"What's wrong, sugar plum?" Tony asked, never taking his eyes off the shiny, red gauntlet in his lap.

"I'm just sad this trip didn't work out the way we planned," she admitted, coming forward and sitting on the arm of the chair. Her disappointment only grew when Tony all but ignored her presence when normally he'd place a hand on her thigh or hold her hand. Clearly, he was really annoyed by all of this.

"It's fine. I'm used to Christmas being a disappointment," Tony said dully. Sliding his hand into the gauntlet and flexing the fingers. "What's one more."

Irritated now, Hermione hopped up and stomped toward the kitchen area. "You know what? Forget it. I thought maybe you could ignore all of the unpleasantness of the past and spend this time we do have together with Steve and me." She planted herself on a stool and crossed her arms, fighting back tears of hurt and anger.

Standing at the small kitchenette counter, Steve finally had enough. He slammed down the knife he'd been holding and turned to glare at his husband. "You know, Tony, Hermione planned this trip for the three of us, not just you. Would it kill you to suck it up and show her some affection and appreciation?" With that said, he went back to preparing their sandwiches. He had no idea what was about to happen next.

Tony sent a small blast from his gauntlet toward Steve, just to get him to shut up. Normally it wouldn't be an issue, but Steve's back was facing Tony, and he had no way of protecting himself. Knowing that Steve was wholly unprepared, Hermione sent up a protection shield as best she could without using her wand. It worked for the most part, only a small fragment of the blast breaking through and catching her skirt on fire.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Stark," Hermione grumbled as she grabbed her wand from the counter and waved it at her skirt. " _Aguamenti_ ," she muttered, effectively dousing the flames that threatened to overtake her skirt. It was no use, though. Her outfit was ruined, and so was this trip.

"Tony," Steve snapped in anger, realizing what happened and rushing forward to check on his wife. "You could have really hurt one of us. Stop being such a Scrooge and apologize to Hermione immediately."

"Bah! Humbug!" Tony all but shouted, but he did uncross his legs and then stand to walk toward where Steve was still tending to their wife. It was easy to see he'd made a mistake and now he had to fix it before he truly ended up alone for Christmas. Gently pushing some curls away from her face, Tony bent down and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, love. I wasn't thinking."

Sighing heavily, Hermione allowed herself to relax. "It's fine, Tony," she began, reaching up to cup his cheek. "I know Christmas is a horrible time for you. I just wish you'd let us make it better."

"Exactly," Steve joined in, wrapping his arm around Tony's waist. He tugged him closer and kissed his temple. "We want to be here for you, but you have to let us."

"What can we do to help?" Hermione questioned, placing both hands on his chest. "What do you want?"

Tony was silent for a few moments, which was slightly out of character. However, when he again spoke, he seemed in slightly better spirits. "As you know, I lost my mom and dad at Christmas. They were the only family I really had. Family. That's what I want- All I've _ever_ wanted, really."

"We're your family," Steve replied, trying not to sound hurt. Before he could say anything further, Hermione interrupted.

"I think I know what you mean," she whispered, a soft smile growing on her face. "And we can do that if it's something you really want."

"It is," Tony said on a sigh of relief. "I would love to have a family with the two of you."

Steve's eyes went wide with realization. "Oh! I've never really thought about kids…"

"I have," Hermione admitted, biting her lower lip in thought. "Only, after the Wizarding war, I found out I may be unable to conceive because of being tortured by the _Cruciatus_."

"As far as I know, your dad's serum left me infertile too," Steve said with a frown. His heart was starting to get heavy the longer he thought on the subject. How were they going to conceive?

"All the lovers I've had and never a kid in sight," Tony muttered, shaking his head. "I think maybe I'm unable to have children also. I've been around radiation one too many times over the years."

"We have options," Hermione said, perking up. "Tonight we'll fly back to the States and take care of that meeting. Then, after Christmas, we'll start the research process, alright?" She kissed Tony on the cheek and then turned and did the same to Steve. "How does that sound?"

"I think that sounds great," Steve said, resting his head on top of Tony's. "What about you, Scrooge?"

"Eh, Capsicle, only I'm allowed to use snarky nicknames," Tony quipped but snuggled into his husband's arms all the same. "I think this is a great idea. Maybe by next Christmas, we'll have a family started."

"Absolutely," Hermione agreed, untangling herself from her husbands. "Now, let's try and make the best of this holiday. We're in Amsterdam. Let's eat dinner, have a few drinks, and then come make use of the extra-large king bed before we fly out at midnight." She wiggled her eyebrows up and down, causing Tony to bark in laughter and Steve to blush.

"That's some great thinking there, love," Tony said, walking forward. He dropped a kiss to her cheek and then moved to help Steve finish making their meal.

Steve looked to Hermione and gave her a smile, clearly happy that she'd been able to help pull Tony from his horrible mood this Christmas Eve. He continued making the sandwiches, leaving her momentarily to her own thoughts. As she stood there watching the two loves of her life, Hermione couldn't help but be thrilled at the prospect of starting a family with the two of them. Sure, Steve could be distant when he was upset, and Tony rather mean, but when they talked things through, they all were rather well-rounded and in love. The love part, that's really all that mattered. That would allow them to endure whatever came next.

With one last happy sigh, Hermione joined Steve and Tony in preparing their meal. Tonight was going to be so much fun, and when they returned to the States, they would prepare for their future.


End file.
